Tuesday, June 24, 2008

3 comments:

  1. meri likhi tippani bhejte bhejte antardhan ho gai !!
    khair...


    abhi do pravishtiyan padheen. vicharottejak hain.

    ismen sandeh naheen ki abhi hamaara samaj stree-drohee hee bana hua hai.

    bahut prayaas kee zaroorat hai abhi.

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  2. ABUL KASIM [fake name] THIS IS TOO MUCH TO HANDLE FOR AN OLD MAN LIKE YOU!

    the importance of Iddah, which is extremely important to decide cases of family related issues like divorce, marriage, maintenance etc.

    Family peace is an integral part of Islamic social system. Owing to much less prevalence of extramarital relationships, promiscuity and sexual perversions, family system is safe and alive in most Muslim societies even at this time of crisis, unlike most of the Western countries where arrangements are being made to perform its final rites. Divorce rates are extremely low, with less than 1 per cent of Muslim marriages ending in divorce in most countries, compared to more than 50 % in most of the Western countries. The incidence of Polygamy is generally low, except in some countries. Wherever polygamy is there, this is nowhere compared to very high promiscuity rates in Western countries. The differences between promiscuity, permitted by modern systems and prohibited by Islam, and polygamy, permitted by Islam and interdicted by modern laws, are huge and need not be discussed here. With hardly a few marriages breaking, the number of single parents is remarkably low in Muslim countries, and there are only very few unfortunate children living in single parent families. In Islamic societies, abortion too is much less common; in most of the countries people regard it as murder of their own children.

    Iddah

    Iddah is the period for which a woman has to wait after the initiation of the process of divorce or after the death of her husband. The following facts about Iddah are to be noted:

    1. The period of Iddah in case it follows the pronouncement of divorce is three menstruation-cycles if by that time she shows no signs of pregnancy.

    2. If a woman undergoing Iddah develops signs of pregnancy her Iddah will be extended till the termination of the process of delivery. (This must include the postnatal period of 40 days.)

    3. If she is having irregular menstruation cycles her Iddah will be of three months.

    4. If she is undergoing Iddah after the death of her husband its duration will be four months and ten days.

    The legal provision of Iddah has enormous implications on family and social health and legal matters related to marriage.

    1. Iddah safeguards the honour of woman. If a woman leaves the house of her husband and after a few weeks, she develops signs of pregnancy, her husband can charge her with infidelity. This is why the Quran has specifically enjoined that Iddah has to be completed in the house of the husband.

    2. Iddah safeguards the legal rights of woman and her child. In case, iddah is not completed in the husband’s house, the paternity of her foetus may become a matter of controversy.

    3. Iddah ensures safe motherhood. In case her pregnancy is completed in any house other than that of her husband, she may suffer from mental anguish, which can be detrimental for the health of mother and child.

    4. In the case of divorce (according to the procedure laid down by the Quran), Iddah provides an opportunity top the couple to bury their differences and reunite without any problem;

    5. Iddah is also extremely important for the sexual health of individuals and society

    I was struck with the extraordinary role of Iddah during the compilation of my monograph, "Islamic Model for Control of AIDS" when to my amazement I found that Iddah would play a crucial role in protecting men and women from sexually transmitted disease. Since then I have continued to get more and more convinced about the extraordinary importance of Iddah in Family Health and Peace. One of the primary objectives of Iddah is to ensure that right from the first day of conception till the completion of the process of delivery (including postnatal period) she would be looked after financially, physically as well as socially by her husband. During this period, the husband is not entitled to formalize the divorce even if he has decided to part with her. Thus the antenatal, natal and postnatal cares are obligations imposed by Islam on fathers. This also provides the couple with an opportunity to reconcile their differences; the news that she is pregnant is more often than not likely to facilitate this reconciliation. It is obvious that such an extraordinary status of mother also ensures the safety of child.

    Family is not an artificial creation of man for every born has a father and a mother. It is therefore necessary that the parentage of every child must be established beyond doubt. The establishment of the identity of mother is a foregone conclusion, as she physically delivers the child. But the establishment of the identity of father will create huge problems if the propriety of the institution of marriage is not maintained. If there had been no provision of a mandatory period of waiting it would have become impossible, in case a woman married within a few days of separating from her husband, to know the real father. If the identity of the father of the child is not established, it is bound to cause immense damage to the future prospects of the child; he or she may have to grow outside the shadow of fatherly protection. Thus Iddah preserves the family system ensuring that the children and parents live without their mutual love and affection getting diluted by any kind of suspicion. This of course also preserves the credibility and honour of the woman.

    Another important role of Iddah is to prevent the sexually transmitted diseases. The provision of Iddah means that no woman can ever have sexual relations with two men without a gap of at least three months. This is greatly helpful in minimizing the risks of HIV and other STDs. It is interesting to note that the incubation period of all STDs is less than 90 days, and the window period of HIV/AIDS is also about 90 days. In Syphilis for example the median period of incubation is 21 days though occasionally it may be up to 90 days. Thus in the case of Syphilis, the woman will develop symptoms of Syphilis within and not more than three months. The development of a painful swelling in her private parts is likely to prevent her from marrying till she gets relieved. The same is true of other STDs like Lymphogranuloma venereum, Reiter’s disease, Herpes etc. In the case of AIDS, while the incubation period may be several years, the blood test for HIV becomes positive within three months. So if the spread of AIDS warrants a strict vigilance a woman may get her HIV tested after the expiry of Iddah before getting married again. This rule may be used with good effect for the AIDS prevention programmes. (See my book "The Killer Sex" for details).

    Now before arriving to any conclusion in Imrana case, the following principles must be kept in mind:

    1. Without any formal declaration, the sexual contact between a man and a woman cannot be accepted as the part of a legal marriage, even if this has happened with the consent of both. Sex outside marriage is a punishable act

    2. In Islam, Nikah can take place only if both have agreed. Any forced relationship or rape cannot be taken as marriage. Any forced sexual act will lead to the punishment to one who forces the other.

    3. In Surah Nur, it has been clearly enjoined that one who has committed an illegal sexual act can only marry one who has either committed similar act or an idolater or idolatress. Such a person cannot marry an unadulterated Muslim.

    4. A woman cannot have relationship with two men without the completion of a gap of at least three months.

    5. If a person rapes the wife of a man, it would not automatically annul her relationship of marriage with her husband.

    6. If a father-in-law rapes his daughter-in-law, this would not annul her relationship with her husband on the ground that a woman cannot marry a father and a son. In this case, the woman has not chosen to have relationship with her father-in-law who in fact raped her. According to Islamic law, he is not even entitled to life anymore. When she was in marriage with a man, she was a forbidden woman for his husband’s father. It is he not her who has committed the forbidden act; so it is he not her who deserves punishment.

    So, the ideal verdict would have been like this:

    1. If the rape is proved, the rapist will be given a punishment in accordance with the law of the country, and in addition he will be excommunicated from the community;

    2. His relationship with his wife will be broken, as he cannot be allowed to live with a pure Muslim woman;

    3. The raped woman (Imrana in this case) should have been asked to observe a period of Iddah (meaning suspension of sexual relations with her husband) for a period of three months. If she is not found pregnant and has not caught any STD in this period, she can resume her normal relationship with her husband. In case of her becoming pregnant on account of rape, she would be entitled the right to abort.

    I urge the Clerics should re-examine their position in view of the above stated facts.

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  3. TAWADU 1


    In Arabic Tawadu means modesty and humility. Humility is the quality or state of being humble. The virtue of tawadu is the opposite of arrogance, pride and haughtiness. Humbleness means not assuming, not pretentious, insignificant, and lowly. We must put all our pride away. We must always thank Allah when we pray. All of us are equal to one another, and no one's better than anyone. What distinguishes us from others is the faith we have which Allah sees, deep inside our hearts. One should try hard to simply be humble and never act too proud. It's always best to be modest and keep our feet on the ground. Because pride will eat us up inside if we're arrogant and loud.
    One can sincerely confess, "Everybody else is good but I am bad; everybody else is wheat but I am chaff", and then those of the highest stature in the heavens are kissing him on the head. Prophet (pbuh) said: "Whoever is humble, God exalts him, and whoever is haughty, God humiliates him." This means that being really great is inversely proportional to behaving as being small. This could be discerned from the lives of Prophets, Sahaba (companions of the Prophet (pbuh), Saints, great scholars, great men and women, Noble laureates.

    Humility in the Companions

    A Companion sees Caliph ‘Umar (RA- may God be pleased with him), carry water in a pitcher on his shoulder and asks him: ‘What are you about, O Caliph of God’s Messenger?’ Hadrat ‘Umar (RA), who is one of the foremost in nearness to God, answers: ‘some envoys have come from other countries. I have felt some conceit (excessively high opinion of oneself, one's appearance or ability: vanity) in my heart and wanted to suppress (subdue) it.’ ‘Umar (RA) used to carry flour on his back. Once he accused himself while giving sermon from the pulpit and he did not respond to those who criticized him. Like ‘Umar, Abu Hurayra (RA) carried wood for some time while he was the deputy governor of Madina. When he was the chief judge in Madina, Zayd ibn Thabit kissed the hand of Ibn ‘Abbas, and Ibn ‘Abbas, known as the Interpreter of the Qur’an and the Scholar of the Umma, helped Zayd get on his horse. Imam Hasan (RA), the Grandson of the Prophet, upon him be peace and blessings, sat together with some children who were eating bread crumbs and ate with them. Once Abu Dharr (RA) offended Bilal Habashi (RA) and in order that Bilal might forgive him, put his head on the ground and said: ‘If the blessed feet of Bilal do not tread on this sinful head, it will not rise from the ground.’ All these events and many similar others are instances of humility.
    Both God Almighty and His Messenger emphasized humility so much that one who knows of it feels no doubt that servanthood consists in humility. The Qur’anic expression, "the servants of the All-Merciful are they who walk on the earth in modesty, and if the impudent (rude people) offend them, they continue their way saying ‘Peace!’ (25:63). The Qur'an praises humility, and the Divine statements; Allah loves a people who are "humble toward believers" (5:54) and merciful among themselves. Allah (SWT) says, "You find them bowing down and falling prostrate (48:29)". These are expressions of praise for their ingrained humility reflected in their conduct.

    Concerning humility, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) declares: " God has ordered me that you must be humble and that no one must boast to another. Shall I inform you of one whom Hellfire will not touch? Hellfire will not touch one who is near to God and amiable (agreeable) with people, and mild and easy to get on with. God exalts one who is humble. That one sees himself as small but he is truly great in the sight of people. O God! Make me see myself as small. "

    Nabi Kareem (pbuh) lived as the most humble of people.



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    He stopped at the places where children were, greeted them and played with them.

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    If someone held him by the hand and wanted to lead him somewhere, he never objected.

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    He helped his wives with housework.
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    When people were working, he worked together with them.
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    He mended his shoes and clothes, milked sheep and fed animals.
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    He sat at the table with his servant.
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    He always welcomed the poor warmly.
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    He looked after widows and orphans.
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    He visited the ill, followed funerals and answered the call of the slaves in the community.





    The beloved servants of God, from Rasoolullah (SAS), to Caliph ‘Umar (RA) and the Umayyad Caliph ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-’Aziz and from him to numerous saints, purified and perfected scholars, and those honored with nearness to God, have held that the sign of greatness in the great men and women is humility and modesty, while the signs of smallness in the small is arrogance and vanity, and they aimed thereby to guide people to the way of becoming perfect men. For those who have realized their nothingness before God Almighty are always balanced in both their religious lives and their relations with people. They have no problems with either the revealed truths of religion or in matters related to human reason. If Qur’anic revelations appear to them as contradictory to human reason or established rational or scientific facts; instead of objecting to them, they try to learn the truth of the matter. Those who have achieved humility are completely convinced of the superiority of the revealed truths. They are certain that it is impossible to be prosperous in the Aakhirah (other world) by following the ways that oppose the Qur’an and the Sunnah. They find the greatest source of power is to become an Abdullah (in servanthood to God). In reality, one who worships God never lowers himself to adore anybody else. Sa'id Nursi Bediuzzaman 1 said: " Do not boast of yourself in a way to see yourself as greater than others. Those who are truly humble do not attribute to themselves the fruits of their work and efforts, nor do they regard as a cause of superiority over others. They give credit to Allah (SWT) for their successes."

    In short, just as humility is the portal (entrance) to good conduct or being characterized with the qualities of God (such as generosity, merciful, helpful, forgiving, etc.), it is also the first and foremost means of being near to both the created and the Creator. The time when a believer is nearest to God is when he is prostrate (Sajada) before Him.

    Humility of Abu Bakr

    Hadrat Abu Bakr (RA) was very humble. When he would see a bird, he would sigh that he were like such a bird. He would often say that he would prefer to be a hair on the body of a Muslim. When he went to perform the 'Hajj', and some people walked in his train (caravan), he asked them not to follow him, but to go their own way. Before becoming the Caliph he used to milk the goats in the neighborhood. After becoming the Caliph when Abu Bakr passed the street, one of the women remarked
    "he has become the Caliph and he would no longer milk the goats." Abu Bakr heard these remarks and said that the caliphate made no difference to him, and that he would continue to milk their goats. If any one praised him, he would say, "O Allah, You know me more than myself, and I know myself more than these people who praise me. Make me better than what they think of me, and forgive those sins of mine of which they have no knowledge, and do not hold me responsible for what they say."

    Ali’s humility 2

    Hadrat Imam Ali (RA) was humble, detested showiness (pretension) and conceit (haughtiness, pride, superiority, vanity, and self-importance). Even as Caliph he used to sweep the floor of his own house, chop wood for fuel, carry water on his shoulders, mend his own shoes, wash his own clothes and milk his goat. Ali's (RA) wife Fatimah (R.Aa) did similar domestic jobs with her own hands, grinding wheat in the hand-mill, baking bread, lighting the oven, washing the dishes and tending to her children.

    One day with when he was returning home with a bag of dates from the bazaar, he received many offers from people anxious to carry the bag for him. Hadrat Imam Ali (RA) refused them all, saying, "Whosoever is responsible for looking after his children, has the bigger responsibility of carrying the burden himself." Ali (RA), was often seen walking barefooted and on one occasion when he happened to be riding a horse he was distressed to find people following him on foot. When he asked them what they wanted, he was told that they felt elated by walking in his retinue (entourage, followers). To this Ali (RA) replied, "Go back to your business. By walking behind a rider, you will breed feelings of inferiority in yourselves and infect me with arrogance (conceit)."

    On another occasion when Ali (RA) was discussing the essential qualities of a ruler in a sermon, a member of the congregation rose and praised Ali (RA) for his eloquence. Ali (RA) said that his subjects ought not to praise him, for he wanted no flattery, being all too conscious of his own unworthiness. Concluding his sermon he said, "To a person who has been influenced by the superb Majesty of God, everything else appears petty (little, trivial, insignificant) and frivolous (playful). He looks upon all other things as shallow and trivial. The worst ruler is one who is given to pride and arrogance and hears flattering words from others. All praise is due to God. You should not praise me because I herewith declare before God and all of you that are here, that I have many responsibilities, which still lie undischarged. In the face of this how can any one applaud me and consider me praiseworthy? You should not accord me that treatment which is only befitting to tyrants. Neither become afraid of me nor ever hesitate to tell the truth. Do not show any consideration to me if you feel that I am wanting in justice, and never conceal the truth from me. I cannot trust any flatterer (one who praises too much, toady) because he might mislead his tempting talk and me might beguile (entice) me into vainglory (vacuum, vagabond). I pray to God to save me from an erroneous path. We men are all alike and there is no other Master than God."

    Sayings of Imam Ali (RA) 3

    "Humility is your best friend in Life. If you are humble, your humility shall help you in your difficult time. Anyone who falls into the grip of an unkind person, and then talks to him with humility, his humble talk shall give relief to him. By humility he shall always be respected. Humility is a light in your life. Your life shall be enlightened with humility. People who come across you and find you humble, shall be delighted to meet you. All people will mark your good behaviour and humility, and they will be satisfied with your humble nature. Humility therefore, is the beauty of life. If you are humble, ALL people shall respect you and offer you a better seat and position. If you prefer to take a lower seat, you will be liked by all. Be humble and you will be very much respected by people who love those who are humble. Remember, everyone desires to take the side of the scale that stays downwards (the scale that is heavy). Man is upgraded by his humble nature. You always respect and salute people with your hand and that hand is called ‘THE RIGHTHAND'. The right hand is liked by people. You also eat meals with your right hand. You will be greatly benefited if you will not keep arrogance in your mind. Your life shall be happy, and you can live a long and happy life. If you have peace and happiness in your heart anyone who will come across you will be delighted and happy.

    O Momins do not be harsh to anyone in your life and always be humble. Be soft as silk, since silk lasts long. Keep your heart humble and delicate.

    O Momins, you have seen how green and tender the grass is. Keep your heart soft, tender, and delicate like the grass. Do not be hard and tough like a big tree in the jungle. When there is a storm, a big and hard tree collapses soon but the tender and delicate grass stays safe and sound. Even the wind and storm cannot harm the tender and delicate grass.

    O Momins, be soft hearted; keep your heart tender and soft like butter. You know that pure butter is excellent. When food is cooked with pure butter, it tastes delicious.
    Similarly, a delicate heart and mind gives happiness to all. It gives peace and contentment to our body, mind and heart. A narrow-minded person is hard and tough to others. Thus he has lots of enemies.

    O Momins, if you will talk politely to others, you will be able to capture the hearts of people. A king can tie the hands and legs of people who live in his country, but he
    cannot tie the hearts of the people. Anyone who knows how to speak politely and sweetly will make all people his friends, and is liked by one and all. Thus he gains immense benefits in life. The Almighty ALLAH blesses anyone who speaks politely and humbly. Talk politely with all people and you will please all. Remember there is Almighty ALLAH in the hearts of all. Therefore, if you will please their hearts, the Almighty Allah will shower His Choicest Blessings upon you. Be kind and polite to all and you will experience, that all will become your good friends. In your daily life you always come across your fellow brothers and sisters, so always be humble, polite and soft to them. A merchant who knows how to talk sweetly finds that his trade increases, his business expands and he can do good business. This world is like a bazaar. Speak politely to capture the hearts of people. In the hearts of all people Our Lord, is seated and if you have the desire to meet our Lord you have to be humble, soft and polite with all your fellow brothers and sisters.

    O Momins, treat others as the elders. Think yourself as being small. Anyone who understood this high and great principle of LIFE has known the Truth and has expressed the beauty of RELIGION.

    THE MODESTY OF GOD’S MESSENGER 4

    In social life each man has a window called status through which he looks out to see others and be seen. If the window is built higher than his real stature, he tries, through
    vanity and stretches himself up to be seen taller than he really is. If the window is set lower than his real stature, he must bow in humility in order to look out, to see and be seen. Humility is the measure of a man’s greatness; just as vanity or conceit is the measure of low character.
    God’s Messenger had a stature as high as to touch the ‘roof of heavens’, so he had no need to be seen. He lowers himself to stay in the world for a while so that people might find the way to God. Since he is the greatest of mankind, he is the greatest in modesty - the greater one is, the more modest he/she is.

    Rasoolullah (SAS) never regarded himself as greater than anybody else. No one could distinguish him among his Companions except for his radiant face and attractive personality. He lived as the poorest of them, dressed like them, sat among them and ate with them, as he did with slaves and servants. Once, a woman saw him eating and remarked: ‘He is eating as if he were a slave.’ Rasoolullah (SAS) responded to her, saying: Could there be a better slave than me? I am a slave of God. He was once serving his friends, when a Bedouin came in and shouted: ‘Who is the master of this people?’ The answer of Rasoolullah (SAS) was such, that, besides introducing himself, it also expressed a substantial principle of Islamic leadership and public administration: The master of the people is the one who serves them. In the words of Imam ‘Ali (RA), ‘among people, he was one of them’. When he reached Quba accompanied by Abu Bakr (RA) during Hijra, some people of Madina, who had not seen him before, tried to kiss the hands of Abu Bakr, because outwardly, there was no sign to distinguish the Prophet from Abu Bakr.

    In the construction of the Mosque in Madina after the Hijra, he carried two sun-dried bricks while everybody else carried one. In the digging of the ditch around Madina to defend the city in the Battle of the Ditch, the Companions bound a stone around their bellies because of hunger, but God’s Messenger himself bound two, because he was hungrier than anybody else. Once, a man saw him and, due to his awe-inspiring appearance, began to tremble out of fear. Rasoolullah (SAS) calmed him, saying: ‘Brother, don’t be afraid! I am a man, like you, whose mother used to eat dry bread.’ Again, a woman suffering from insanity pulled him by the hand and said: ‘Come with me and do my housework.’ God’s Messenger went with the woman and did the housework. As reported by ‘A’isha (RAa), mother of believers, God’s Messenger patched his clothes, repaired his shoes and helped his wives with the housework.

    Although his modesty elevated him to ‘the highest of the high’, he regarded himself as an ordinary servant of God. Once he said: No one can enter Paradise by his deeds. When asked whether he could not either, he answered: I cannot either, but for the Mercy of God. His Companions attempted to do nothing without consulting him or getting his permission or approval. Once, Hadrat ‘Umar came to him and asked his permission to go for (Umra) minor pilgrimage. Rasoolullah (SAS) gave him permission and made this request: Brother, include me in your Du'as (supplications). ‘Umar rejoiced so much at that one day he was to say later: ‘If the worlds had been granted to me that day, I would not have felt the same happiness.’

    In addition to the other virtues of the Prophet (SAS), his humility was one of the greatest qualities. As he attained a higher rank each and every day, he increased in humility and servanthood to God. His servanthood is prior to his Messengership, as we mention in the declaration of faith: I bear witness that there is no god but God; I also bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger. He preferred being a Prophet-slave to being a Prophet-king (Prophets David (AS) and Solomon (AS)).

    God praises his servanthood and mentions him as a servant in several verses of the Qur’an:

    When the servant of God stood up in prayer to Him, they (the jinn) were well nigh upon him in swarms (to watch his prayer). (Al-Jinn, 72:19)

    "And if you are in doubt concerning that which We have sent down on Our servant, then bring a Surah of the like thereof, and call your witnesses beside God if you are truthful. (Al-Baqara, 2:23)

    After the death of Khadija and Abu Talib, Rasoolullah (SAS) became convinced that he could no longer stay in Makkah with any hope of victory or security. Before things became too critical, he went to Ta’if in search of a new base for his faith, but he received there the worst kind of welcome. At a time when he felt himself without support and protection, God manifested His Mercy perfectly and honored him with the Ascension (Meraj), raising him to His Presence. While narrating this incident in the Qur’an, God mentions him, again, as His servant to show that God’s Messenger deserves Ascension through his servanthood:

    "Glory be to him, Who carried His servant by night from the Holy Mosque to the Furthest Mosque, the precincts of which We have blessed, that We might show him some of Our signs. He is the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing. (Al-Isra’, 17:1)

    Humility is the most important aspect of the servanthood of God’s Messenger, who declared: "Whoever is humble, God exalts him, and whoever is haughty, God abases him."

    Hadrat Imam ‘Ali (RA) describes the Prophet (pbuh), " God’s Messenger was the most generous of people in giving out and the mildest and the foremost of them in patience and perseverance. He was the most truthful of people in speech, the most amiable (agreeable) and congenial (friendly, pleasant) in companionship and the noblest of them in family. Whoever sees him first is stricken by awe of him but whoever knows him closely is attracted to him deeply, and whoever attempts to describe him says: ‘I have, either before him or after him, never seen the like of him, upon him be peace and blessings’.

    REFERENCES:

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आपकी प्रतिक्रियाएँ मेरे लिए महत्वपूर्ण हैं।अग्रिम आभार जैसे शब्द कहकर भी आपकी सदाशयता का मूल्यांकन नहीं कर सकती।आपकी इन प्रतिक्रियाओं की सार्थकता बनी रहे इसके लिए आवश्यक है कि संयतभाषा व शालीनता को न छोड़ें.

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